“The thing we have lost, the ingredient we men ourselves seem to lack, is the inner secrets, the teachings for becoming a strong and solid man.” Steve Biddulph (Australian psychologist and author) from his most recent book, “The New Manhood”
“Traditionally, 2 things were done to help young men into adulthood. First, they were ‘taken on’ and mentored into adulthood by one or more men who cared about them and taught them important skills for living. And second, at certain stages of this mentoring process, the young men were taken away by the community of older men and “initiated”. This meant being put through some serious growing up processes, including testing, sacred teaching, & new responsibilities.” Steve Biddulph (Australian psychologist & author) from his book “Raising Boys”
What does it mean to be a real man? It’s a great question! And it’s a question that I myself never had an answer to… until I was 29 years of age… after being married for more than eight years, and having fathered 3 sons at the time. I, like many men, never had a father who prepared me, taught me, instructed me, or trained me in the ways of authentic manhood. In fairness, my Dad, like most other Dads, never had a father himself who provided such things to him, and no man can give what he does not have.
There’s a scene in the movie “Secondhand Lions” where a gang of youths (unfathered and uninitiated young men) encounter a real man… the character of Hub McCann, played by Robert Duvall. I don’t want to give anything away in regards to such a powerful scene, but a few scenes later, Hubb McCann, having earned the right to speak into the lives of those young men, engages them in what seems to be quite a passionate monologue… though the viewer doesn’t get to hear what he’s saying. Looking on from a distance is Hub’s younger brother Garth, played by Michael Caine, and their 14 year old great nephew Walter, played by Haley Joel Osment. Here’s the dialogue that goes on between Walter and Garth…
Walter – “What’s he saying to them?”
Garth – “He’s giving them his ‘What every boy needs to know about being a man’ speech. A lot of men have heard that speech over the years. A lot of men.”
Oh how I wish that were true. That a lot of men would have heard the ‘What every boy needs to know about being a man’ speech. The truth is… very few have heard such a speech. Very few know what it means to be a real man. Very few know what a real man does. Very few know how a real man treats others. Very few know what a real man devotes his time to… what a real man is prepared to live for, and what a real man is prepared to die for. Very few.
The good news is that change is afoot. Part of what fathers and their sons (ages 13 and above) receive during our 5 Night Father-Son Adventures is just that… training, instruction, imparting, equipping, and empowering. No-one leaves our 5 Night Father-Son Adventures without an answer to the question, “What does it mean to be a real man?”. Fathers and sons alike are initiated over 5 Nights / 6 Days, and to the question, things for them and their relationships are for the most-part, never the same again.
Our next 5 Night Father-Son Adventures are already filling quickly, so please register now to avoid disappointment.
If you’d like to see more photos and read more testimonials from the sons and fathers at our most recent 5 Night Father-Son Adventures, than follow the following web-link here… http://fatheringadventures.squarespace.com/blog/2011/7/13/inside-one-of-our-5-night-father-son-adventures.html .
I hope to see you and your son there.