Great Moments Shared With Dad

“Each day of our lives, we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.”  Charles Swindoll  (Pastor & Author)

“Opportunities to communicate openly, and build the father-son relationship have to be created. It’s a goal that’s worth whatever it takes to achieve.”  Dr James Dobson  (Psychologist & Author)

What memories do you have of some great moments you shared with your Dad… just the two of you? And how many of those moments were caught on camera or video? My Dad took his role as financial provider of our family seriously… too seriously in fact… so I have very few memories of times I shared with my Dad, and even fewer photographs. To be honest… there isn’t a single photograph in existence, of just my Dad and I… together.

The good news is… it’s a completely different story when it comes to my sons and I. We have shared so many great moments, and insodoing, created so many great memories… together… meals, movies, hiking, rafting, fishing, abseiling, sea kayaking, snorkelling, canoeing, exploring, camping, jumping into waterholes from heights, important and not-so-important discussions etc… many of which have been shared, one-on-one… and we have the photographs to prove it. Leaving a legacy in the lives of my sons… different to the legacy left by my Dad… has required me to be intentional. How are you travelling as a Dad? What great moments have you strategically and intentionally initiated with your son or daughter? What great memories are you creating? What legacy are you leaving?

My friend and mentor, Robert Lewis, author of ‘Raising a Modern Day Knight’, created the idea of a ‘Legacy Album’… for Dads to record certain words and special events that will take your son back and make those memories spring to life again as if they happened yesterday… a legacy for him, from your heart to his… and a contribution to your family heritage… something your son will one day show your grandson or great grandson.

The ‘Raising a Modern Day Knight’ movement has now released an App for IPhones and IPads… so that many Dads now, are without excuse. The APP makes it very easy for a Dad to capture and record your words and photographs etc., as well as offering regular encouragements through monthly “Dad Challenge” videos etc. I encourage you to watch their short promotional video they’ve produced for their App, that I’m convinced will inspire you to both download the App, and utilize it to its full potential… thereby unleashing your true potential as an intentional Dad.

And of course ‘Fathering Adventures’ can help provide you with all of the opportunities, experiences, outdoor adventures, milestones, memories, and photographs you could ever need, to really win big with your son, and propel him forward into an unhindered, fulfilling, and abundant life. We have an adventure for you and your son… daughters too… no matter the age, now in a growing number of locations around the country. Find one of our adventures that best suits you, at our “Upcoming Adventures” page here… http://fatheringadventures.squarespace.com/upcoming-adventures/ .

'ABSENT'... A Documentary About The Impact of Disengaged Fathers

“The father wound is so deep and so all-pervasive in so many parts of the world that its healing could well be the most radical social reform conceivable.”  (Father Richard Rohr)

“Not only here in the West, but across the globe, disengaged fathers are leaving a mark that will forever reshape the future of our planet. You show me a person that is angry, violent, depressed, selfish, sexually immoral, hyper-driven, or one of several other personality types, and I’ll show you a father wound. Nothing is more important to a young man, or a young woman, than a father’s love, respect and acceptance. And nothing is more damaging than when the question ‘Am I good enough?’ is asked of the father by the child, and the answer is silence.”  (Justin Hunt – Film Producer)

I encourage you to watch the following 2 minute long trailer for Justin Hunt’s most recent documentary, ‘ABSENT’, about the impact of disengaged fathers. ‘ABSENT’ has won ‘Best Documentary’ at numerous film festivals all around the world.



‘ABSENT’ documents the devastating reality of Author David Blankenhorn’s words… when he spoke as a social scientist back in 1996… “Fatherlessness is the most harmful demographic trend of this generation. It is the leading cause of declining well-being in our society. It is also the engine driving our most urgent social problems, from crime to adolescent pregnancy to child abuse to domestic violence against women.”

The reason why the impact of absent / disengaged fathers is so devastating, is simple… because the role of a father in the life of his child is absolutely critical. And one of the reasons why the significance and weightiness of a father’s role is typically undervalued within our society today, is because it is no longer adequately defined, and nor has it been for many generations now, dating back the advent of the Industrial Revolution. Far too few men today have a clear and succinct vision for their lives as men, husbands, and fathers. They simply default to what their own father’s offered in those areas, and for most men, that fell woefully short. e.g. providing financially only.

The impact of father absence is immense…

• 63% of teen suicides come from fatherless homes. That’s 5 times the national average. Source: US Department of Justice;
• 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes. That’s 14 times the national average. Source: Justice and Behaviour;
• 85% of children with behavioural problems come from fatherless homes. That’s 20 times the national average. Source: Centre for Disease Control;
• 71% of all high school drop outs come from fatherless homes. That’s 9 times the national average. Source: National Principals Association Report;
• 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centres come from fatherless homes. That’s 10 times the national average. Source: Rainbows for all God’s children;
• 85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes. That’s 20 times the national average. Source: US Department of Justice.

‘Fathering Adventures’ is a movement that is actively reducing the devastating effects of father absence, by inspiring, equipping, and enabling “fathers”… not necessarily biological… to be present, engaged, and intentional, in the lives of their own children, and those children in our society who find themselves fatherless already. So Dads, I encourage you to join us… to play your part in this critical movement. And please be sure to tell your friends.

Our next Dad & Daughter and Father-Son Adventure Weekends in North Queensland are already sold out, but vacancies still exist for a 5 Night Father-Son Adventure here, in just over ten (10) weeks time now… June 30 – July 5, 2012. And then of course we have a Father-Son Adventure Weekend planned at Mapleton in South-East Queensland in August 17-19, and a Dad & Daughter Adventure Weekend planned at Mt Tamborine in South-East Queensland, in September 14-16. You can find the details of all of our Upcoming Adventures here… http://fatheringadventures.squarespace.com/upcoming-adventures/ . I hope to meet you soon.

What Every Daughter Needs From Her Dad

Most good men struggle between their desire to be a good father, and the reality of being one. Our children aren’t born into the world holding on tightly to a manual to hand us to read and master, in order to provide us with everything that child is going to require of us. For the majority of us, it’s a case of on-the-job training… learning as we go. Fathering sons is hard enough, but at least we Dads were once boys ourselves. Fathering daughters on the other hand… most of us find that so much more difficult… the feminine heart being a mystery to many of us.

I’m a man who likes to keep things as simple as possible, because when something is simple, there’s a greater likelihood of actually following through and applying it into my life. So in the spirit of keeping things simple, please allow me to share three things that every daughter needs to receive from her Dad. If you’re not a Dad of a daughter, please continue to read on anyway. Why? Because it’s highly likely that you’re married to a daughter (remember your wife is a daughter), and that your son will one day marry a daughter. You’ll want to be armed with these simple, yet life-giving truths, so that you can be a man of understanding.

I refer to these three things as the three (3) A’s:

1. Attention,
2. Affection, &
3. Affirmation

And a word of warning men… if your daughter doesn’t receive the three (3) A’s from you, as she is meant to, then she will seek them out from another masculine source… from outside of the home… from someone whose motives are less noble and honourable… who’s more interested in receiving life for himself, rather than offering life to another.

One further word of warning men… don’t stop! In the same way that your favourite sporting team can forge a strong lead by half time… if they were to rest only on all of the good work they did during that first half, then that lead would evaporate very quickly, and become an actual deficit. So don’t stop offering the three (3) A’s to your daughter once puberty kicks in, and don’t even stop when your daughter marries her husband. Your role as father does not end until you draw your very last breath.

There’s an ancient Chinese proverb that says, “I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.“. Fathering Adventures is more than a book, it’s more than a conference, it’s more than a demonstration, or video resource… as good as all of those things are. Fathers from all over Australia, and further abroad, are bringing their sons and daughters to our various adventures offered throughout North Queensland, South-East Queensland, and Victoria. They discover exactly what their sons and daughters need to receive from them, they get to experience a practical application of what they learn, and they get to experience first-hand, just how much they enjoy their child, and how much their child enjoys and needs them.

On the subject of Dads & Daughters, we have “tentatively” booked a couple of additional Dad & Daughter Adventure Weekends for the weekends of July 20-22 on Magnetic Island in North Queensland, and September 14-16 at Mt Tamborine in South-East Queensland. If you’re interested in joining us for either one of those weekends, please contact us immediately, otherwise we may be forced to surrender those dates, and wait until 2013.

Please help us to build a stronger future for our Nation, one family at a time. Forward this email on to all of your friends and colleagues. And be sure to look through all of our upcoming adventures… http://fatheringadventures.squarespace.com/upcoming-adventures/ … to register for one of our numerous Father-Son or Dad & Daughter Adventures on offer throughout 2012 & beyond.

Happy New Year, or Happy for a Lifetime?

After 12 years of counseling men, women, and couples... I've listened to hundreds of people's stories. The one statement I have heard from all of them is this... "I just want to be happy". We all want that, right? But very few seem to have actually found it and lived it.

Many years ago now, my mentor shared the truth of this ancient Chinese proverb with me...

If you want to be happy for an hour -- take a nap.
If you want to be happy for a day -- go fishing.
If you want to be happy for a year -- inherit a fortune.
If you want to be happy for a lifetime -- help someone else succeed.

It's one of the things that lead me to start 'Fathering Adventures'. Why? Because not only do I get to help Dads succeed in their role as father... due to the significance and weightiness of that role... I also get to help their children (the next generation) succeed... as tomorrow's men & women, husbands & wives, and fathers & mothers. And knowing that I have done, and continue to do that, has been truly fulfilling for my family and I. By helping others succeed, I am the happiest I've ever been.

So how about you? Do you also dare to be happy for a lifetime? Then help someone else succeed.

Did you realise that you can help 'Fathering Adventures' succeed? In fact, I've come to understand that It's quite improbable for me to succeed on my own. The vision of 'Fathering Adventures' is to make a Father-Son, or Dad & Daughter Adventure available to every family throughout Australia. Ambitious, yes! Impossible, no! So how can you help that vision become a reality?

1. Tell others about the heart & mission of 'Fathering Adventures'. Email your friends and colleagues the web-link to our promotional video on YouTube... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6y_hM88u3ag . "Like" our Facebook page... https://www.facebook.com/pages/Fathering-Adventures/110998805612704 , and share our posts on your Facebook wall, Twitter, LinkedIn, or other social networking accounts. Email your friends the web-link to this blog site... http://fatheringadventures.squarespace.com/ , and or the web-link to our recently upgraded official website... www.fatheringadventures.com.au . Tell others the good, old fashioned way... in person... at work, at a BBQ etc, or over the phone. Better still, tell others in a combination of the above-mentioned ways.

and, or

2. Provide some financial support for less fortunate families, through sponsorships, donations, purchasing gift certificates etc. You can do so by a variety of means, as provided on our website's "Pay It Forward" webpage... http://www.fatheringadventures.com.au/fathering_adventures_donate.php .

In the words of the late, great anthropologist, Margaret Mead... "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."

Yours for being happy for a lifetime... together!

Fathering Adventures in 2011 – The Year that was!

“Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.”  Hal Borland (late American Author and Journalist)

Wow… 2011 is drawing to a close, and what a year it has been for ‘Fathering Adventures’. I trust that 2011 has also been a fruitful and rewarding year for you and your family.

Perhaps the most noteworthy news of 2011 is simply the expansion of our influence in just a 12 month period. This year we facilitated nine (9) adventures in 11 months, compared to just three (3) adventures last year… a jump from affecting just twenty-nine (29) relationships and families to One hundred and ten (110) relationships and families.

Excitingly, 2011 also saw us for the first time expand into other geographic regions of Australia. Almost half of our adventures this year were facilitated outside of North Queensland e.g. South-East Queensland (Mt Tamborine and Mapleton) and Victoria. A big thank you to our partners for making that possible… Andrew Grant and QCCC (Queensland Conference & Camping Centres) in South-East Queensland, and Bill Malcolm & Village Church, and Mill Valley Ranch in Victoria. It wouldn’t have happened without you good men.

We also expanded the types of adventures we offer this year, to include Dads and their daughters. Our Father-Daughter Adventures Weekends (for daughters aged between 7 & 13 years inclusive) have proven to be a big hit in both North and South-East Queensland. We’ve even had a number of Dads and daughters express interest for us to develop a 5 Night Father-Daughter Adventure, in the spirit of our 5 night Father-Son Adventures, so perhaps in 2013, we may just see those become a reality.?

Internationally, we also saw a jump in fathers and sons joining us for our 5 Night Father-Son Adventures, and for the first time ever, we received much interest and engaged in numerous discussions with potential partners overseas… New Zealand, South Africa, U.S.A. (including Alaska), and Canada. So 2012 and 2013 may see our level of influence extend even further, as we begin to look at facilitating our various adventures internationally.

Other noteworthy items of 2011 worth special mentions include the release of our first ever promotional video… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6y_hM88u3ag , a jump in the number of non-biological fathers and significant male others bringing boys and girls along on our adventures e.g. step-dads and mentors, and 2011 was also the first year since launching, that we have not suffered a nett financial loss.

Personally speaking, 2011 saw a wonderful increase in support and encouragement from men whom I am honoured and privileged to call friends… with Clive Bird and Prasantha Jayawardhana leading the way. I was also surprised to be awarded and rewarded with being named the 2011 Queensland Father of the Year. That and the onset of Fathers Day, saw me undertake numerous speaking engagements and interviews in all forms of the media… television, radio, newspapers, and magazines.

To be honest, I am spent… but in a very good way… like someone who has just completed a race… collapsing in a heap over the finish line. But as the opening quote testifies, this is not an end, but a going on. I have completed but a leg of the journey that lays ahead. There is still much to be done. But for now… at the end of this leg… I celebrate, and I receive some much needed and well deserved rest and restoration… for me, and for my family.

So for now… my family and I humbly thank you for your all of your support and encouragement throughout 2011. May you and your family also find rest and restoration over this Christmas season, and rest assured, we’ll be back in the New Year, to embark upon all that 2012 will bring.